OMG...go see Ratatouille. Right now. I'm not kidding.

The film is beautifully rendered in a style that brings Paris alive (you don't even care that the real Paris is cloudy most of the time). It almost looks real. You can tell the Left Bank was tweaked a little to fit in Gusteau's, but what the hell, it's fiction.

The soundtrack sounds quintessentially French, and perfectly complements the action rather than upstaging it (a rare feat).

I must say, with all the overemphasis on disgusting "delicacies" in haute cuisine, I find it very encouraging that the film's climax hinges upon a simple (though delicious) vegetable stew. (Really, though, did the film's producers HAVE to consult that irritating prat Anthony Birdbrain?)

I won't spoil the whole film, but just see it. Seriously.

My ratatouille recipe:

2 tbsp olive oil (make sure it's not too fruity)
3 cloves garlic, minced
2 white onions, chopped
6-8 tomatoes, skinned and quartered (blanch in boiling water for 2 minutes, drain, cool, and peel off the skin - if you don't have time, use 1 28-oz can crushed tomatoes, but for food's sake get a good brand like Muir Glen)
2 small eggplants, chopped, sweated, rinsed, and drained (to sweat eggplants, chop into small pieces, salt liberally, drain 30 minutes in a colander, and rinse well - don't skip this step or your eggplant will be bitter!)
4 zucchini, sliced into thin rounds
2 green bell peppers, chopped
2 red bell peppers, chopped
1 tbsp sea salt
1/4 tsp black pepper
2 bay leaves
1 tbsp herbes de Provence
Fresh thyme and basil to taste

Heat the olive oil in a large casserole or soup pot. Saute' onions and garlic until onions are translucent. Add the other vegetables and stir occasionally. The tomatoes will start to "melt" after a while - the liquid will cover the other veggies. Add seasonings and simmer partially covered on low heat for 45 minutes or until vegetables are tender. Adjust seasonings if necessary. Makes about 10 cups. Serve with fresh baguette slices, potatoes, or rice.

So I finally got around to reading "Skinny Bitch," and I am quite pleased with the results.

This is not some stupid "diet" book that requires all kinds of sacrifices and omitting things your body needs. First of all, "dieting" does not work. You go on a diet, you lose 20 pounds, you go off the diet, you slowly gain it all back because you've gone back to your old habits. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

I had my doubts, but Rory and Kim back up everything they say, cite resources, and strongly discourage unhealthy habits. Take that, Dr. Fatkins!

My favorite line: "You need to exercise, you lazy shit." So true. Five days a week is good - and don't overdo it. (BTW, pick up the "Fit to Strip" disc from Carmen Electra's Aerobic Striptease series. It starts with a cardio warmup - important for safe weight loss - and then goes into several smaller workouts that tone and tighten your entire body. It's really helped with my back problems because so many of the exercises work the postural muscles.)

(Speaking of which, I wish roller-rink skating were a more popular form of exercise. It's a great way to immediately know a lot about the person you're seeing. Is he eager to please, or does he grumble when you grab his hand for couples skating? Is she klutzy or passably graceful? Does he zoom past other skaters or skate courteously?)

There's a big scary chapter on sugar substitutes that are (surprise!) bad for you. I used to drink a lot of soda, but have cut out all soda containing high fructose corn syrup. I still have a couple of sodas per month (I used to drink two per day!), but I stick to all-natural sodas made with real cane sugar (my favorites are Bubble Up and China Cola). BTW, don't be mollified by Sprite's claim that their product is "natural." "Natural flavoring" could mean anything from lemon pith to cow's blood (I couldn't make that up if I tried).

I can't quite hack eating only fruit first thing in the morning, but I recently discovered Larabars - food bars made only from fresh, raw fruit, nuts, and spices. I had my doubts - raw food is a bit of an acquired taste - but they are really, really good. I'm making an effort to eat more raw food (though I love cooked food too much to completely abandon it), and it can be quite good if you know what you're doing. I'm lucky enough to be acquainted with a talented raw chef, so I'm learning!

Other things to keep in mind:

*Instead of adding fat to food, play around with herbs and spices.
*Eat a colorful diet. If everything on your plate is beige, you're probably chunky AND bored with food and life in general.
*Eat in season - food is best when fresh. In the dead of winter, choose frozen produce over canned.
*Drink lots of water (a nutritionist told me that if your urine is almost clear, you're drinking enough).
*Get enough sleep.
*Stay away from caffeine, cigarettes, and unnecessary meds.
*Don't drink too much or too often. I might have the occasional glass of champagne on Bastille Day, but I've found I actually prefer the role of designated driver. (Think about it...when sober, you can take incriminating pictures of your friends, avoid agreeing to a date - or anything else - with a guy who only looks good through booze goggles, and be the heroine who gives the hot guy a lift home when his designated driver bails.)

So, what do I have to show for the adjustments to my lifestyle?

I've gone down two jean sizes in two months (and I'm not done yet). It's staying off, even though I had to skip working out and live on soft foods for a week due to having my wisdom teeth removed. I feel fantastic. And I'm breaking more hearts than usual.

Now, I will never be a size 2. My breasts are too big and my pelvis is too wide. But, who wants to be a boring beanpole when you can be a curvy hourglass anyway?

Bises,

Frenchy

I can't speak for all princesses, of course, but here's what's in mine. I'm sharing because I'm often asked how I keep my skin so clear.

*Face wash. I like Caudalie, which is made with grapes and loaded with antioxidants.

*Detoxifying face mask - Caudalie, again. It doubles as a gentle but effective blemish remover - just dab it on the problem area and leave it on overnight.

*Toothpaste and plain waxed dental floss - JASON Powersmile works for my pearly whites. Most big-name toothpastes irritate my gums. (Tooth whitening tip for the broke: burn two slices of bread to a crisp and grind them up with a mortar and pestle or a food processor. Brush your teeth with some of the charcoal powder, then brush and floss as usual. Repeat the next day if necessary, and so on. DO NOT use real bleach; it will ruin your tooth enamel.)

*Lavender oil. Add a splash to a warm bath for soft skin, dab a few drops on your pillow for insomnia, put a few drops on a cotton ball and disinfect cut or scraped skin, or use as an astringent (do a patch test first, dilute it if necessary, and don't do this if you're planning to go out in public within a few hours; your skin may temporarily turn red).

*French triple-milled vegetable-based soap. It's good stuff. The cheap stuff you find in the grocery store lasts only a fraction of the time this stuff does. Plus, cheap soap foams too much (due to assorted scary chemical agents), is tallow-based (I am totally NOT rubbing cow fat on my skin), and can really dry out your skin. I have been known to buy a few extra bars of French soap when it's on sale, though it lasts so long I usually wind up giving the soaps away as hostess gifts.

*Moisturizer. I used Kiss My Face Lavender/Shea Butter for years, but they replaced the hemp seed oil (which is good for your skin) with a long list of scary unpronounceable stuff (which isn't) and the new version gave me a rash. For now it's JASON cocoa butter.

*Body wash (take your pick; I like JASON lavender or rose water). Can double as bubble bath.

*Manicure/pedicure kit. I like OPI for color and Orly for base and top coats.

*Tweezers. I spend way too much time tweezing my eyebrows.

*Dr. Bach's Rescue Remedy. It's meant for more high-stress situations, but nothing works better for helping a pretty princess maintain her composure on a first date with a handsome prince.

*Dr. Bach's Rescue Sleep. This is a newer product, but it really works when you have insomnia and need your sleep (and don't we all?). I had my doubts about this homeopathic stuff, but it's working for me (whereas conventional meds often don't work and/or have unpleasant side effects).

*Makeup. I love Zuzu Luxe, which is mineral-and-plant-based (no pore-clogging animal fat!). Their lipsticks are made with candelilla wax instead of the more common beeswax, so they don't clump as much. I'm pretty pale, so I use Beauty Without Cruelty's loose powder in Fair Translucent (the ONLY powder that is light enough for me).

Some other skin-care tips:

*If you seem to break out at random, keep a food log to determine a possible allergy.
*Stay away from dairy products. They have been linked to acne, allergies, and even dyslexia. (When I cut out dairy, my skin cleared right up and has stayed that way.)
*Drink lots of water, preferably filtered (unless you are lucky enough to have really clean tap water - seriously, I love living in HB, but the tap water here is really disgusting).
*Get enough sleep!
*NEVER, EVER go to bed with makeup on, even if you're exhausted or drunk. Your skin needs time to breathe!
*Go easy on the booze. There's a reason hardcore partiers start to age prematurely.
*Stay the hell away from tobacco products. They will clog your pores, stain your teeth, make you smell awful, and give you wrinkles.
*ALWAYS wear your sunscreen!

Got it? Good.

Bises,

Frenchy

On behalf of all smart women who are completely fed up with toothpick models, starvation diets, boutiques that refuse to carry any size bigger than 6 (they're out there), and the sick fact that women bond over trashing their bodies, I would just like to say a few thank-yous.

Thank you, Elie Saab, for using trim-but-curvy models and proclaiming that a woman's beauty is in her curves.

Thank you, Stella McCartney, for banning size 0 models from your runway shows in favor of models who wear a UK size 10 (US 6 or 8). The new perfume is enchanting, by the way.

Thank you, John Galliano, for using models ranging from thin to plus-size in your recent runway shows. I can only hope other designers have the good sense to follow your lead. (P.S. Can you please stop using all that icky fur? It's outdated, boring, and tacky. Thanks.)

Thank you, New York Times, Bitch magazine, bloggers and culture jammers worldwide, and all other media outlets who take the time to call bullshit on our curve-hating culture. It's time to get smart and learn to LOVE our bodies instead of abusing them.

At the other end of the body image spectrum is the African nation of Mauritania, where very, *very* fat women are considered the beauty ideal (body fat = enough money to eat well...it's not a wealthy country by any means). Do I support that? Absolutely not. An obese life is usually an unhealthy and short one. I support not selling yourself short.

Bises,

Frenchy

Donatella Versace has finally acknowledged what fashionistas with working brains and good vision have known for years - Allegra Beck Versace has anorexia.

WELL, DUH! That poor kid looks like a skeleton with skin. And certain design houses (do I really need to name names here?) are still playing innocent and whining that there's nothing wrong with "naturally" skinny models.

My blood is boiling with disgust.

The guilty parties know their blame, and I'd say shame on them if they *had* any shame.

Bises,

Frenchy

So word has it that Delta Zeta is suing DePauw U. They'll never win their case, of course, as they screwed up in the worst way possible. Further proof that the Greek system gives too much power to the stupid and undeserving, if you ask me (I am not saying *all* of them are stupid...you know what I mean).

The Apparel News recently ran an article on an exhibit of knockoff goods at France's Museum of Counterfeiting. Fake goods, be they designer clothes or electronics, aren't as easy to detect as they were in prior years, but there's always a way to authenticate the real thing (Hermés, for example, hides special tags inside their purses).

Every day, I see women of all ages carrying knockoff Louis Vuitton bags, wearing fake Tiffany jewelry, and spritzing themselves with designer imposter perfume. The Los Angeles fashion district is, sadly, crawling with that crap.

First of all, they aren't fooling anyone. Why not buy something unique? It would look a million times better than a cheap copy.

Second, knockoffs fund organized crime. It's not just budget fashionistas looking to capitalize on a trend anymore. (In fact, a 1993 bombing was partially funded through the sale of knockoff t-shirts.) During Prohibition, mob bosses made their money on bootleg booze. Selling drugs, money laundering, and running prostitution rings have all made money for crime syndicates, but it's harder to work undetected now, and the police generally view them as far worse than the "harmless" practice of ripping off someone's intellectual property.

The bottom line is, the fashionable and underfunded have three options:

1. Buy a knockoff, look cheap, and feel guilty.
2. Copy the design themselves (only recommended for the skilled).
3. Buy or make something no one else has, and set a new trend.

In local news, the Skate Zone here in HB is closing this week. Apparently business had been declining steadily despite Roller Derby's newfound popularity. Great, now I have to drive to Fountain Valley to skate (you didn't think I was going to use my new speed skates on the bumpy, cracked *pavement*, did you?).

Bises,

Frenchy

Since my last posting...

*DePauw University has kicked Delta Zeta off its campus. Good riddance.

*My good friend Christina has proven that you don't have to look like a supermodel *or* be a tramp to get dates. She's seeing three or four different guys despite being so broke she can't afford to touch up her roots.

*St. Patrick's Day is tomorrow. While I'm not too thrilled about any intolerant "saint" kicking the Pagans out of Ireland (you do know the old story wasn't referring to *actual* snakes, right?) here in America it's more of an Irish-pride day. I have a tiny trickle of Irish on my dad's side but I'd be steaming cabbage and mashing potatoes even if I didn't. The French and Irish are actually related - parts of France were settled by Celtic tribes. In fact, the Paris area was named for the Parisii tribe, which settled the Ile de la Cité.

*Disney has announced their next animated princess movie - an "American fairy tale" set in New Orleans and starring Maddy, the first Disney Princess of African descent. Has someone been smelling the coffee?

Seriously, it sounds like it'll be a good movie. They're going with traditional animation (soooo overlooked in the digital age) and I hear it'll have a nice jazzy soundtrack (as the classic "Peanuts" specials proved, kids can dig jazz just as much as sophisticated adults).

We all know that the color of someone's skin shouldn't matter. But, I read somewhere that for years little African-American girls have been asking Mommy and Daddy why none of the Princesses looked like them, and that the Disney Company simply pointed to Jasmine (Middle Eastern), Mulan (Chinese) and Pocahontas (Native American) as proof that they are concerned with diversity. Well, better late than never...and (given current US population trends) hopefully the next princess movie after *that* will star a Latina princess.

Incidentally, it's somewhat common for little girls going to Disneyland to dress up in a Disney Princess dress (the park officially does not allow costumes, but they bend the rule for the DP dresses, probably because they're sold in the park). Every time I go to Disneyland, I see red-headed Mulans, Asian Pocahontases, Latina Ariels, African-American Cinderellas, blonde Jasmines, etc. I do think it's great that even if some of the world's adults still don't quite get it, these girls feel comfortable dressing as whichever princess is their favorite, regardless of whether they resemble her or not (wigs matching the princesses' hair were available just a few years ago but apparently did not sell well...).

Funnily enough, although my favorite princess movie is Sleeping Beauty, my favorite Disney Princess is Belle (because she's smart, resourceful, and kind)...and I happen to resemble her quite a bit, right down to the big thick book usually in my hand.

By the way, a lot of today's classic fairy tales are French (or, as in the case of Cinderella, may have originated elsewhere though the French version is most commonly known today), and I for the record am delighted at the idea of an original American fairy tale to tell Maddy's story. So many tales lose their charm when re-set in another land or time...Disney's official position is that it's intended as a gesture of faith in the rebirth of New Orleans, and I hope that's true. (Memo to Disney: PLEASE tell me it won't be another version of Cinderella. There are so many variations of the story that it's become extremely stale.)

"The Simpsons" is on...gotta go.

Bises,

Frenchy

In a prior entry, I mentioned that smart princesses do not join sororities. This is because they cost thousands of dollars in dues, require a lot of time (never mind that college students SHOULD be focusing on their schoolwork, internships, and maybe a job), and ultimately the "lifelong friendships" are based on how attractive or well-to-do the participants are.

I was completely disgusted, but not at all surprised, when a few days ago the New York Times ran an article concerning 23 sorority sisters (including the chapter's president) on a small-town Indiana campus who were kicked out based upon their looks and race.

I am, of course, appalled that this crap still happens in the 21st century. But, I'm flat-out shocked that more people did not expect this to happen somewhere, at some point.

Maman attended UCLA in the 1970s, and hated it because of the elitist Greek system. She made no effort to join any sorority, thinking it redundant because she was already in an association affiliated with the Masons, *and* was planning her wedding as a freshman (in France, the trend is to marry later, but here in America, she was snatched up quickly by my very smart father). Despite making every reasonable effort to be friendly, sorority girls and frat boys (who made up a large chunk of the student population) wouldn't talk to her at all - not even in study groups. It was so bad she transferred to Cal State. Sophie's parents reported similar experiences.

Thinking for a split second that outdated social institutions can change in just 30 years is completely naïve and foolish.

What's especially ironic about this case is that Delta Zeta attracted smart women who didn't fit the sorority sister stereotype (trampy, ditzy, spoiled, blonde, skinny), then decided it was bad for their image to do so. Never mind that sororities might attract more respectable applicants if they didn't discriminate based on looks and image in the first place.

Delta Zeta's national officers have further made complete asses of themselves by doing the following:

*Claiming the booted members were "not sufficiently commited." Never mind one of them was the CHAPTER PRESIDENT, and all of them were non-white, non-skinny, or otherwise not conventionally "pretty."
*Claiming the evictions were made to "enrich" student life. Excuse me, doesn't improved diversity sound like a better way to enrich student life? It takes all kinds to make up this world...students need to learn to get along with each other BEFORE they graduate.
*Allowing "pretty" national representatives to run recruiting events at the house while 25 of the REAL members were hiding upstairs.
*I'm sure they've lied about other things, but really can't be bothered to look them up while I'm at work.

I do, however, commend the DZ sisters who quit in protest.

Frankly, the image-obsessed racist scum who allowed this to happen should be fired, and the sorority should refund EVERY LAST CENT the wronged sisters have paid them over the years. (I know, I know. Snowball's chance in hell. My blog, my rant.)

If any DZ members or alumni are reading this, now is your chance to take a stand. Turn in your pin with a letter condemning the sorority's actions. (I, for the record, turned in my Girl Scout badges when I found out they were allowing 8-year-old Scouts in an Alaska troop to trap aquatic mammals in water traps for a merit badge. Not only is teaching kids to kill animals pretty screwed-up, water traps are especially cruel because a trapped beaver can take up to 20 minutes to drown.)

Don't get me started on a piece run by a local paper a few years ago in which a former sorority sister, writing anonymously from somewhere on another continent, reports such horrors as sisters forcing pledges to stand in their underwear and have all their fat deposits and other "flaws" circled in red ink. The sorority reportedly harassed her for more money in dues after she left, hence the anonymity and her living overseas. Does this sound like a "good opportunity" to "make new friends" to you?

College students of the world, this is your chance to take a stand, too. I do not approve of paying for fake friendships, but if you cannot be convinced not to do so, at least choose a fraternity or sorority that accepts members based upon REAL criteria (intelligence, commitment to an improved community, etc.) rather than popularity and appearance.

I think I'm going to rent the "Revenge of the Nerds" saga this weekend. Everyone should see that movie, if only to be reminded that when you piss off the "socially awkward," you ultimately do so at your own risk. Geeks, much like the math and science majors DZ had attracted in droves, DO own and run the world. (Soph has told me she's tempted to call a global "nerd strike." She may be beautiful and stylish, but she's a geek at heart.)

And I'm continually asked by other people in the fashion industry why I have friends who aren't particularly attractive or cool. They're decent, respectable people. That is all that matters.

Bises,

Frenchy

I'm at home, watching the Oscars (how can I not be?). I'm having a blast. Ellen DeGeneres is ten times funnier than Billy Crystal has ever been. I have not laughed this hard since Tara Reid's botched boob job.

Milena Canonero just won the Oscar for costume design, and she certainly deserved it. I already rambled about the gorgeous costumes she created for Marie Antoinette when I saw the film, so I won't rehash it. I will, however, say that now I want to throw a Marie-themed party, complete with Champagne and pistachio rosewater cupcakes, with awards for the best party dress.

Alan Arkin won Best Supporting Actor, which also made me happy. His character was undoubtedly the funniest, most believable dirty old man/devoted grandpa in movie history. (If you haven't seen Little Miss Sunshine, it's out on DVD...)

Catherine Deneuve looks amazing. I wouldn't have gone with such an understated hairstyle, but no one will ever accuse her of not aging gracefully. (And, as I'm French too, I can look to her and think, ahh, I'll still look good at that age.)

Gawd, you can totally tell I was born in Hollywood just by reading this...

Bises,

Frenchy

I'm not in a good mood this week.

I received word (via Yahoo News) that Eliana Ramos died suddenly of a heart attack. Eliana was a model and the younger sister of model Luisel Ramos, who died of anorexia last year. Other models are claiming it wasn't anorexia. But the fact remains, 18-year-old girls do NOT die of heart attacks just like that. I'm telling you now, both sisters had eating disorders. Anorexia and bulimia can both cause serious cardiac damage - in fact, most bulimics who die of the disease suffer heart attacks after a purge (repeat vomiting screws up the body's electrolyte balance).

Tyra Banks is still getting slammed just because she weighs 161 pounds. So what? She's still got a perfectly proportioned body and looks amazing. (And, okay, a friend with serious body issues has been smiling nonstop ever since she found out Tyra's four pounds heavier than she is.) Bless you, Tyra. Screw the critics!

I finally saw "A Very Long Engagement" and I can't believe that Gaspard Ulliel is starring in "Hannibal Rising." Ugh, I realize he's an actor, but why go from a great Jean-Pierre Jeunet film to a crappy kitsch film (or so I've heard) about a cannibal?

My so-called date called me the night before Valentine's to cancel our plans. That bastard suddenly thinks I'm "too European" and he didn't want his friends to think he was dating a foreigner. I'm a full US citizen (born in LA, no less). I speak better English than he does. I'm proud of my roots. Well, the joke's on him. He'll end up with some brainless blonde, unable to get anyone else, and I'll still have a wide variety of potential mates from which to choose.

Needless to say, I wound up at Soph's party. We watched "Be My Valentine, Charlie Brown" (she's a big "Peanuts" fan...the cartoons are classic) and compared notes on the losers who've asked us to marry them (so far, my count is 5 and hers is 4).

I love getting new shoes, but I hate breaking them in because I'm cursed with extremely tender feet. If I so much as blow on my toenail polish too hard, I blister. Breaking in new shoes is hell. Seriously, I have to stuff padding in new shoes even if they're sneakers.

By the way, in light of the fact that V-day has recently passed: If your significant other isn't behaving him/herself, DUMP HIM/HER and ask questions later. Anastasia learned that the hard way.

Bises,

Frenchy